Secret thoughts. Secret acts. Secret desires. Secret intents. Secret
motives.
Secret lives.
That's what so many of us live. Secrets lie buried deep within, never known or suspected by those around us. Our smiles are like the pink frosting on a donut, superficial, covering giant calories of sin. Acting becomes an art form. We watch the famous actors and actresses and realize that deep down, we can act as well, if not better, than they do.
Strangely, something never occurs to us, or if it does, it merely flits through the mind like a bullet through air. It never occurs to us that we are being watched. We never seriously consider that God sees us. Angels see us. And it can be argued, a heavenly host watch as well as a hellish host of beings. But in ignorant arrogance, we presume to be alone, supreme in our dark little world, believing our thoughts, acts, desires, intents and motives lie buried behind our pink little smiles.
But worse than our arrogance of thinking our lives are a secret, we care little for the offenses of our secret lives. Somehow it never occurs to us that we can offend God. Somehow we fail to comprehend the fact that God can be repulsed by our secret acts, our secret thoughts, desires and motives. The notion of offending God is not an issue with us. The notion that we can cause God grief with our lives does not act as a barrier or a warning or a fence to stop us. Cautionary thoughts do not leap in front of the secret thoughts of lust or hate. Instead, we plunge ahead in our secrets, completely unaware and uncaring about the presence of God. Offending God is not an issue with us.
We then wonder why God seems so distant. We bewail the fact that our lives seem so muddled, so confused and so much evil seems to visit us. Our prayers lie unanswered. We never connect our secret lives with any of it. Our secrets lie in the box marked "I'm only human" which contains our license to offend God.
It is a license with a demonic seal of approval.
We are admonished in the Scripture concerning offending God. It is written: "And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption." Eph 4:30. The word "grieve" is the Greek work lupeo, which is also interpreted "to offend." Most of us have read that verse many times and somehow never connected it to an offense against God. We never picture God as being offended. We never see God as being sorrowful, of being hurt by our actions or our lives.
It's really quite strange and illogical. Imagine this for a moment. You go on a small outing with a close acquaintance. Would you do anything to offend that person? Would you tell that friend a dirty joke? Would you offend his or her spouse with a remark that popped into your mind? Would you steal from your friend, knowing he or she was watching you? Of course not.
But we do that exact thing to God. Jesus said He would never leave us nor forsake us. He said He'd be with us always. He said He'd send the Comforter to live with and in us. We are indwelt by God Himself. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Ghost. All of this we know and have been taught since we became Believers.
And yet, we are not ashamed to offend God. We are not embarrassed at our secret lives. Our only embarrassment and shame comes when we are exposed, when God reveals what He already knew. And then, the shame comes. Why? Because we are now known by other humans as we really are. Our secret life is no more a secret. (In fact, it never was a secret. We only thought it was.)
But why does it take exposure for us to become ashamed? Why does it take that for us to express tearful, humble sorrow? Why does it take being humbled before mere mortals for us to have embarrassment over our sins?
Consider this. Could it be that the reason we are able to sin secretly and not feel godly embarrassment over that sin is because we really do not know God very well? Could it be that we know our friends better than God? Can it be that friends, acquaintances and those who we see before our eyes are more real to us than God? And is it perhaps that God is more an idea to most of us than a reality in our lives? Is God more a concept we've embraced than a Personal Savior and Lord we've embraced? Could it be that God has become, since that first glorious meeting, a distant memory who now resides in a distant realm and whose only presence in us is as a memory or a belief or an image? Can that be it?
We need to make some reality checks on our lives. We need to ask ourselves some hard questions and then be truthful with ourselves. For example, if you're a man who walked into a room alone and saw a beautiful, scantily clad woman in the room, what would be your reaction? If she spoke, would you speak? If she beckoned, would you come? What would you really do? Do not give a "canned" response. Do not give a reponse that is based upon the persona you've built up for others, including perhaps your spouse. But drag out the secret you, the one you've kept carefully hidden from others. God desires truth in the inward parts. Reach for that goal. What would you really do?
Now, imagine walking into that same room and the same woman is there. However, there is a difference this time. Now your spouse is with you.Or your pastor. Or just another person. How do you react now? What difference? Or, suppose Jesus Christ walked into the room with you? Any difference than when you entered the room alone?
And that really is the point. As Christians, we are never alone. Never. Not once. Christ, the Hope of Glory is ever with us. Every room of life we enter, He is there. Every room of our mind is open to Him. Our secrets are banner headlines to Him.
Why then, do we think we can be secret with God? What is it about us that causes us to think we can hide anything from God? And why would we ever suppose that we don't offend God with our secret sins? (Or is it that we don't care?)
It goes back to one thing, really: Knowing God. We really don't know Him. We know our friends better than God. We spend more time with them than God. We talk to them more. They are reality to us. God is less real than they are. God is a notion, an idea, a concept. And how can we offend someone who is closer to an imagination than a reality? How can we offend someone who is mystical, etherial, distant and not a real person? God is out there doing His thing and we're here in reality, doing ours. In the Virtual Reality world we've designed, God exists as an unseen, aribtrary intervenor in our lives, but never as a close personal friend. Never in our contrived world do we imagine God to accompany us on our mental journeys. And never does God actually walk through the same doors we walk. We leave God outside.
In the end, God is going to reveal secrets. Paul spoke of secrets in Romans 2:16: "In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel." Jesus spoke of secrets, saying in Luke 12:2: "For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known." Nothing hid? Sure sounds like nothing will remain hidden. Not even our secret thoughts.
We cannot afford to offend God. It's good to be embarrassed. If our secret sins don't embarrass us before God, one day they will embarrass us before the world, indeed, a universe. The Scriptures teach us that if we would judge ourselves, our sins, then we would not have to be judged. (I Cor. 11:31).
I suppose the real question that everyone of us must ultimately ask is this: Does it bother and embarrass me to offend God? If deep down inside we acknowledge that it really doesn't bother or embarrass us, then we have a serious spiritual problem. You see, that was the problem with the Pharisees. Outwardly, they were, according to Jesus, "whited sepulchers" but inwardly was another story. Inside, where the secret thoughts lay hidden, they were corrupted and dead. We cannot afford to be Pharisees.
Try this. On the eve of your next secret temptation to sin, raise your face to God and say: "Excuse me God, but would you leave the room?"
And realize that you've just asked for death. You've just asked for God to remove His life from your "room," His temple, your body.
Few of us would ever dare ask such a question of God.
We'd rather offend Him.
Or so it seems.
Copyright 1996
